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Writer's pictureAndy Parker

Home Shows, Patriarchy & Wokies

Updated: Dec 20, 2023



Introduction

Ok, confession time. This is something I don’t disclose to everyone…and everyone I do

disclose it I usually have to wait some time before doing so. This gives the necessary time to prove my man-chops as to hopefully dispel all doubt, of at least, create enough cognitive dissonance, when said disclosure takes place that I’m not gay.


Anyway, here it is, I like Home Shows. Of course, this is a statement to be taken in principle and not in total given that HGTV is gayer than a democrat in PRIDE month during an election year, because nothing says home renovation like a hammer and a side of sodomy, but enough about Paul Pelosi.


So, there it is – all out in the open now. I like home shows. I’m really a pretty boring

person…it’s really the only tv I watch…Having renovated three homes now with my wife, we enjoy watching these shows – you know, the kind where they turn a booger into a beauty. Perhaps, it’s because there is something Biblical about bringing something back to life. Also, full disclosure, Demolition is much cheaper, and much more enjoyable than therapy.


The interesting thing about home shows that I’ve noticed over the last few years, besides

becoming increasingly gay, or perhaps because they’ve become increasingly (you pick, the

chicken or the egg?)…is that, despite how beautiful these homes may be the vast majority of them are simply empires of dirt – shrines to self. And the couples (if they’re even married), most likely will end in divorce in a few years. All this to say, that most, though not all, are building, renovated these homes and do not know why. They don’t know what a marriage, what a family is and what a home, or a domicile is for – namely, as a means to an end – namely, to facilitate dominion.


Though the end may look the same, what my wife and I are doing in renovating a home with our family of seven is vastly different than what is transpiring when two homo’s or two gender-confused dog-parents renovate a house. Sure, we want to make our home pretty, we want it to be inviting (I think you call that, light and bright and airy), but that is all secondary to function.


Does this home meet our needs? Will it allow us to expand and grow? Is it conducive for work? Does it function for home schooling and hospitality? Is there room for a library and a studio, if not, can we build? If we had to, can we turn a profit on this house? What is the land like…is there enough, is it fertile and so on? Our entire focus is on the building up of our household, which means we’re not just thinking about the present but the future. We’re not just thinking about our children, we’re thinking our grandchildren.


This is completely different when Pete and Chasten renovate their home or when Triston and his alpha wife and their dog-children renovate their homes…Theirs are a white-washed tomb – a monument of decay…though beautiful on the surface, there function is anti-dominion. For all of their awesome finishes, their homes and their legacies will suffer that same fate of Ozymandias, that great King of kings.

“Nothing besides remains. Round the decay Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare, The lone and level sands stretch far away” Percy Bysshe Shelley

The Patriarchy & Stupid Wokies

Perhaps no word is held in higher derision today than the word patriarchy. The mere mention of the word sends college students running to their therapy hamsters, sends fact-checkers into ban mode, sends purple haired Lesbos into rage mode, and it sends evangellyfish into apology mode. All that to say, it would wise for someone someday to put “Long Live the Patriarchy” on a t-shirt.


Despite all the derision, few in all the above-mentioned categories of our cultural elite even know what patriarchy is, however, they know with absolute certainty that is stands for every bad…I mean like really bad…like everything that’s ever happened bad…like white people didn’t exist before the patriarchy came into existence bad. Which, to be entirely honest…that last one is actually true, given that God created the patriarchy and that it is baked into the cake. Therefore, all men are patriarchs but not all patriarchs are white – you’re welcome.


Patriarchy, in its most simplistic form simply means father-rule. Which, just on the surface you would think that would be applauded and encouraged by everyone especially given that every sphere of our civilization benefits from it. Which is also why, fatherlessness is the not only the biggest problem facing our country, but also the world.


As the African proverbs says, “If the young are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel the warmth.” Contra, Hilary Clinton, it doesn’t take a village to raise a child. It takes a father and a mother to initiate them into the village, or rather teach them in the way that they should go so that when they are older they will not depart from it (Prov. 22:6).


If there any doubt just how important fathers are just look at some of the numbers:

85% of all children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes

71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes

70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes

85% of all youth sitting in prisons grew up in fatherless homes

80% of rapists come from fatherless homes


C.S. Lewis said of the atheist that he doesn’t believe in God and is very angry at Him for not being there. So too, is often the case with many of our patriarchy haters. They don’t believe in the patriarchy and they’re very angry that their father wasn’t a good one. But the problem runs much deeper than simply having a bad father, although that is obviously a big problem – one that has generational consequences…but the reason it has such a long-lasting negative impact on society is because it’s actually rebellion against God the Father through misrepresenting what He is like.


Here is lies the real rub in the road for our cultural intelligentsia, and for all the useful idiots that are getting their drinking water downstream without ever wondering why it tastes tangy. They hate God the Father, and all earthly fatherhood which is derivative and reflective of God, and they hate the built-in authority structure within creation that it necessitates.


Man was created in the image of God. Woman was also created in the image of God, but they were created with a functional complimentarity…They are equal in value, both image bearers of God, but different in design and function. All of man’s gifts and responsibilities, are well, masculine, and all of woman’s gifts and responsibilities, are well, feminine. Man was created as the glory of God and woman was created as the glory of man. As Doug Wilson likes to say, regarding, the woman, she was created as the glory of the glory.


Man has authority, it’s baked into the cake. He was created to rule over creation, to lead and have dominion. Again, to quote Doug Wilson,

“Males will necessarily be dominant in any given culture, and the only question before that culture concerns whether or not that dominance will be constructive or destructive.”

Patriarchy is unavoidable which is why a fathers absence is just as destructive as a fathers abuse.


So then, man has authority and this authority is unavoidable. However, it’s a derivative

authority. Which means that it comes from God and is to be exercised for the glory of God – which means that God, and God alone sets the parameters for the proper exercising of such. Man has legitimate authority to rule, but this is not an absolute authority. Not only that, but the authority that any man has is determined by the office/title that he holds…the scope of that authority is also determined by God within that sphere.


Man was created to rule and to subdue creation which is characterized and seen by fruitfulness in his home, in his work, and in his worship. He is to be a blessing in all that he puts his hands too. He is a worker, he is a protector, he is a provider, he is a creator and builder, and is to be watchful over all that God has entrusted to his care…this is his dominion – which should be reflected in his domicile. Man builds the house, but the woman makes it a home. Man brings home the bacon, but the woman fries it up.


Man was given a mission by God, that is, to drink coffee and do stuff. I guess the coffee is

optional, but the doing stuff is not. He was tasked by God to do stuff and he needs a helper fit for him to accomplish and fulfill his mission. The biblical household then is something much more powerful than a pretty place to lay your head…It’s an integrated covenantal, economic structure created to have dominion over the planet for the glory of God…The actual home is ground zero…it’s where knights and princesses are formed.


Now back to my gay home shows…another trend that I have noticed over the last few years specifically related to the patriarchy that our degenerate wokey comrades are trying to fix is the Master Bedroom. Not that this is something they can do away with…Every home is going to have a “biggest room” and that “biggest room” is always going to be habituated by the one with the most authority in the home…Namely, the one who bought it.


But the fact that there could be a built-in authority structure in creation, reminds wokies of God and the patriarchy, so this must change. What’s their solution to said emotional vexing? If you can’t change it, rename it. Over the last few years I have seen the master suite change to a primary suite, then change to a principle suite, and then change to an owner suite….Problem solved! But is it? Unfortunately, whenever you run from the Hound of Heaven, you can’t help but feel Him breathing on the back of your neck.


The word master, in regards to master suite is positional. It implies authority and rank in the home…which wokies distain, but have they really fixed the problem?…not at all functionally as I just mentioned…but in trying to fix a creational design they just made things worse. The words primary and principle may be sound better and be more soothing to the super-enlightened among us, however, where master communicates rank of title, primary and principle communicate valuation – which is the one thing that they mistakenly think that patriarchy is about. Hilariously, they’ve created the one thing they were trying to avoid.


What about the owner suite? I have no problem with this language – someone bought the house. But as was expressed just a few minutes ago, I’m not sure how this fixes anything. And in our super non-racist culture (and it’s here I feel the obligatory and cultural necessity to remind my audience that I love black people and am not a racist), it doesn’t seem any more sensitive to use the word owner instead of master. In fact, one can be a master without being and owner, but one can’t be an owner with being a master. Again, nooses and necks and such.


All this to say, the producers at HGTV that feel it necessary to push their worldview down our throats by redefining the home suck at it and are only making things worse. In their defense, they may say something along the lines that they are not creating culture, but simply trying to reflect a broad representation of culture.


First of all, I strongly believe their representation is grossly disproportionate (which is

intentional), and secondly, it’s true that our culture is filled feminists, passive man and all forms of sexuality depravity which the representatives of such certainly buy and renovate homes, but they also certainly don’t make them. They can’t declare to be making a home any more than Michael Scott can declare bankruptcy. I believe the wisest of wise men, once said, you can put perfume on a turd but you can’t make it a flower.


Conclusion

It's one thing to rebel against convention, it’s one thing to rebel against culture, it’s quite another thing entirely to rebel against nature. Which has never been wise, nor prudent, nor successful. Therefore, let me just end with the words of that great patriarch and nation builder, Joshua, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”


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