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Writer's pictureAndy Parker

Strippers & Public Education



The Godly Troublemaker exists to shine the light of Christ in the eyes of the idols of our day. Over the years, in ministry I have done much shining. Unfortunately, I have noticed through much direct, first-hand experience that said shining very rarely gets a thank you. Instead of immediately breaking into song and belting out Amazing Grace,

“Amazing grace how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I’m found, was blind but now I see.”

That very rarely happens. Actually, it has never happened, but I’m hopeful. In fact, instead of getting a thank you, many respond like they were just woken up with a spotlight to the face and gently respond by calling me a butthole or something along those lines, but perhaps a bit more descriptive. I don’t think that’s what Paul had in mind regarding every part having its place in the body.


However, I do find said buttholery talk helpful in that it helps us to know where the pressure points lie. It’s like the old saying, if you throw a stone into a pack of dogs you know which one you hit based on the one that yelps. Regarding idols in our culture, there are two that I believe to be, by far, the biggest and most deeply entrenched, and that is feminism and public education. These two are like nerves that fire off in every direction.


But of these two, the one that invokes the most vitriolic response from other brethren and sistren in Christ, is that of public education. This doesn’t mean that feminism and egalitarianism, and its spineless cousin complementarism are not strangling the church with love like wet blanket around the face. However, in most orthodox churches, most women at least to giveth the appearance of not being a domineering wretch, at least not openly, will at least denounce feminism in some form, that is, if they are the ones instructing on said denouncing.


All this to say, that of all the things I have rebuked, and called out and shined light on over the years nothing invokes more of a response from Christians like rebuking public education. If there is one thing that evangelicals love more than anything else, it’s public education. In fact, of all the differences that there are amongst our churches, this is the one thing that 90% of them have in common. Keep in mind that the average student receives 14,000 hours of instruction from kindergarten to 12th grade. So then, the one thing that evangelical children have in common is that they have received 14,000 hours of instruction from the state.


So then, as we look around at the state of our country and the state of the church today, it would seem to me a remarkably stupid question to ask ourselves how did we get here. It would even seem to be even more remarkably stupid to try and fix any problems while still supporting the source of said problem.


If the basement in your home has flooded and the water is continuing to come in, most sensible people would try and find the source of the water and stop it. Is this what we are doing? Heavens no, that would make too much sense. The church is trying to fix the problem by drying up the basement with napkins, all the while continuing to support and fund and promote the source of said flooding. What did Solomon say, oh yes, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.” Prov. 4:7. So, there is that.


The irony is, almost all evangelicals would agree that the public schools are a mess, which is evident and presupposed in every single justification they give as to way it is necessary to send their kids there. Yes, they would say, but that’s exactly why little Billy needs to be there. Because little Billy is salt and light, and “be the change” after all. And if little Billy isn’t there, like a modern-day William Wilberforce, than the world will descend into darkness.


Over the years, I’ve heard a lot of justifications, I like to call them excuses, as to why parents send their kids to the government education mill. Perhaps myriads upon myriads of excuses, I mean justifications. But one that dominates all manner of excuseries is that of evangelism. That is, sending their children to be educated by the government is not only justified but necessary because of evangelism. They are sending their kids out as evangels to bring light to a dead and dying world.


I think this is so profoundly stupid for a great multitude of reasons. The first being that your children are the mission field. They are the ones that are to be discipled, which is exactly what education is. To send them off to government education centers, that have no love for Christ, where they are to sit under the authority of adults paid by the state, and then tell them to win souls for Christ is the equivalent to sending an adult to witness to the Chinese government. It is a suicide mission, of which parents themselves don’t have the guts to take.


There is also the assumption that supporting the government schools is the only way that

evangelism can take place in our country. This leaves one with a couple questions that need answering like, how did evangelism take place in our country before government education? And, if supporting government education is necessary in order to do evangelism, has it been effective, or is this the equivalent of drying out our flooded basement with a napkin?


Here is another, that needs answering, if government education is secular, which it is, which no one denies, how can a Christian parent justify having their child discipled in a system that hates Christ in the name of evangelism? How can you justify trying to change a thing while upholding and supporting the very thing that you want to change?


An example I have used in the past is that of strippers. Yep, strippers. I think we have to keep strip clubs open for the sake of evangelism. Because if we don’t support these clubs then there is simply no way to reform these clubs. And if Christians are not actively involved in going to strip clubs than how will anyone there ever hear the gospel? Also, if I’m not giving Diamond Desirae all my dollar dollar bills then how will she ever come to Christ?


If this sounds stupid, I would argue that it is actually much less stupid and destructive than supporting government schools. Now, obviously I’m not supporting the existence of strip clubs, but the justification given above is the exact same that most parents give regarding government education. Some would say this is stupid because there is a marked difference between someone taking their clothes off for money and sending your kids to the government to be educated with their parent’s approval.


To which I agree. The educating of your children by the state is much more destructive. Strip clubs are seedy and gross which is why they are only open at night and seemingly exist in the shadows. Not only that, but most would agree that given the choice they would not want one in their community. The desire to take off one’s clothes for money and the desire to pay someone to take off their clothes for money is gross, but is easily repented of. For one participant, put your clothes on, quit your job, and change your life and don’t ever do it again. For the other participant, repent, leave and don’t ever go back. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t lingering desires in the mind that led to said debauchery from both participants, but it is to say that stopping, and kinking the hose is evident and obvious.


None of this is the case with education. How do you know when you’ve received as

miseducation or a false education altogether? Education is meant to get in the very fabric of the person shaping the way they see, not only the world, but their place in it, and in everything that stands behind it. That is, education is meant to shape your understanding of the nature of all things, including God and man. And all of this is backed up by billions of tax dollars, and 14,000 hours of instruction per student in the most formative years of their lives. How do you just repent of that? How do you change that, or even know where to change that if you have already been severely shaped by that?


Some parents may argue that they are actively involved in their child’s life and that their child is very involved in their church youth group, which I would argue is most likely abysmal, and is like public school without the balls. But even if this was correct, how does that offset anything I just said?


Sticking with our strippers. If I told you I spent billions of dollars, and 14,000 hours of my life in strip clubs, but I had a healthy marriage and was also very active in my small group, would you be as equally optimistic? Not only that, if you said that these things are not compatible at all and cannot coexist without being entirely schizophrenic, I would say yes and thank you for making my point.


I can understand parents sending their kids off to the government education mill because they are ignorant. That is, they don’t know they have other options, they have not really thought through these things and their implications, or the fear that they don’t have the time or the money or the education themselves for the alternatives. I understand these things. Change is scary and we are all ignorant until we’re not.


What I cannot tolerate and understand to any degree are churches and church leaders that support an educational system that is antithetical to Christ, and teach their people to support this system in the name of evangelism, and neutrality. Kind of like encouraging the sacrifice of children in the high places in order to evangelize. All of this being very pleasing to God because how else could we change a system which is exercising such obvious neutrality?


The fact of the matter is, evangelicals could singlehandedly change the nature of education forever in our country overnight if they made the sacrifice of pulling their kids out of government schools. If this were to happen, the government juggernaut would be irrevocably crippled and alternatives would spring up everywhere.


Do I think this should happen? Absolutely. Do I think this will ever happen? Absolutely not. I think that evangelicals lack the resolve and the balls, and the discipline to do this. And before this could ever happen, our churches would also need the above mentioned. Not to mention they would also have to get out of the sack with the public schools, and the strip club called Respectability is a club they like to frequent far too much.


So what do you do if your church likes Club Respectability too much and is going to continue dropping dollar dollar bills and shows no signs of change? You lead by example the leave that church, for one that clearly understands our times and the nature things. It is the same with the public schools. If enough people leave these churches, then at least some of them may get the point.


Change will happen, perhaps not based on principle but on pragmatics. Like the guys that all of sudden grew balls during covid, because they realized they were going to lose their congregations and saw the writing on the wall. Unfortunately, a lot pastors are like politicians. They are whores that can be easily bought by public opinion, but this will never happen if the public doesn’t have one.


So then, the balls in your court. It all starts with one family willing to make sacrifices, that if made, I promise God will bless. So then, be the change. Cheers!

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